I use to think about so much things going on about us,
and trust me that wasn't just simple thinking no it was deep thoughts which formed imagination of horific things I would always fear,
But it never seemed that all this had just one simple answer I was abiding all along,
bummer now that fear came through no?
Oh, how can you love someone that much and just stop when things like this happens knowing you did not do your absolute best for that special someone?
How can you stand and do nothing at all while just mourn about it?
yes that makes me a hypocrite and my regret is not knowing it until now.
Yeah, only now I know where I went wrong and now I stand here hoping for something right.
You were always my sunshine, that smile would never fail to put another smile on my face,
The warmness you gave me, when I needed it the most
The times where I wish time would just stop for us ( LIKE SERIOUSLY .____. )
Or how about those hugs and laughters you gave me.
Truth is I missed those so much and sometimes at night I cry knowing we're missing what we had. I would pray it would magically come back like a de ja vu or something @.@
But it never hit me hard enough, where's my part in all this?
Yeah, I admit although I wanted it so badly it wasn't my main priority this year.
I was so occupied in work and truth is I too like what I do, I never put your needs before mine and I'd expect you to come to me. How wrong was I we were two people playing the game of patience.
After that was.. well, it may seem pathetic but my studies.. yeah, i wasn't doing so good so I was so worried i never thought so much about us. I always thought, OMG HOLIDAYS IM SO SPENDING ALL MY TIME WITH HER INSTEAD OF BOOKS MANN -______-
But right now, I never saw how I made you feel, fuck myself seriously D:
Love is hard, balancing is even harder!
Well, now we know I fail epicly in both and right now im feel so sad i didn't see the bigger picture.
You gave me a second chance during midyear no? Lemme tell you this, that was one of the best things this year no joke AND I FRIGGIN BLEW IT .____.
Maybe im not cut out for a relationship just yet.
Im not too mature I know.
Im very sensitive.
I cry easily.
I tend to hide so much.
I don't see the bigger picture.
I can't balance at all.
I didn't love you or treat you as much as I should've.
Now, yes we don't talk so much or spend so much time with each other or laugh with each other on silly things.
But you can bet anything I would trade so much just for those times back.
Right now, I've just lost something which meant so deeply to me.
but it's not just losing someone.
It's knowing you did not try hard enough to love or show that you love that person enough.
Yes it's just my second day like this.
Already I can't control myself D: D: D:
I didn't really had any appetite or much sleep or even studies, when things like this bothers you THAT MUCH.
I just wish all this work and wtv disappears or burn! D:
Most of all, I secretly wish we would have times like we had like we use to.
There i've said what i gotta spit out O: TIME TO STUDY (: THANKS BLOG :D
